Catchmaster of Flies!

I hate flies. There is nothing worse than trying to enjoy a delicious brunch in the warm sun and seeing a large horse fly land and twiddle its feelers, vomiting, on my cantaloupe. It makes me want to throw the food away, but that would be wasteful. So my new resolution has been to try to kill every fly that I see – or don’t see.

To do that I use disposable fly traps. Now they call me the catchmaster. I leave the trap outside on my deck and it emits a powerful sex pheromone to attract all the flies that come near. When I delight in my Sunday brunch I view the trap and the dozens of flies that have been suckered in, some of the newer additions still buzzing and struggling in vain. I put them out of their misery by throwing them in the garbage and boom, I take out next week’s disposable fly traps.

This way the flies don’t bother me, and I’m doing the world a favor by ridding them of these spreaders of disease and feasters on garbage (and melon). As official catchmaster, I know that I wouldn’t have earned my title without these disposable fly traps.