Why I Use Humane Mouse Traps

When I was a little boy we were up in the woods at my uncle’s cabin. He called everyone over to look at a family of mice in a stump. There were a few babies and a mommy. After everyone had seen them squeak and pulse in their home they soon occupied themselves with other things. I remained, and eager for the mice to come out and play, I took a stick and encouraged them to come out by pumping the stick up and down in the stump. My uncle, drunk with rage, saw me and shouted, “What are you doing to those mice?” I, defenseless and innocent, didn’t realize what I had done, until he told me, “You killed all those baby mice!”

Needless to say this event permanently scarred me. Now whenever I see mice a wave of sorrow washes over me, especially when I’ve had to deal with them in my home. The little critters are cute but I know they must be gotten rid of. So I buy humane mouse traps, which I believe to be the best mouse traps, and spread them in areas where the mice congregate. When I catch them, I take the human mouse traps and release the little beasties into the wild.

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Catchmaster of Flies!

I hate flies. There is nothing worse than trying to enjoy a delicious brunch in the warm sun and seeing a large horse fly land and twiddle its feelers, vomiting, on my cantaloupe. It makes me want to throw the food away, but that would be wasteful. So my new resolution has been to try to kill every fly that I see – or don’t see.

To do that I use disposable fly traps. Now they call me the catchmaster. I leave the trap outside on my deck and it emits a powerful sex pheromone to attract all the flies that come near. When I delight in my Sunday brunch I view the trap and the dozens of flies that have been suckered in, some of the newer additions still buzzing and struggling in vain. I put them out of their misery by throwing them in the garbage and boom, I take out next week’s disposable fly traps.

This way the flies don’t bother me, and I’m doing the world a favor by ridding them of these spreaders of disease and feasters on garbage (and melon). As official catchmaster, I know that I wouldn’t have earned my title without these disposable fly traps. Read More!

The Best Mouse Traps Are Not Cats

My cat’s name is Fanny and let me tell you, she is no savage beast. Whenever I come home she’s lazily sunning herself and if she’s feeling like it, she’ll greet me with a purr and a figure eight through my legs. She’s so friendly that she treats everyone else who comes into my house the same way.

When I discovered a rodent infestation in my home, I was not surprised. I thought that cats were supposed to eat mice, but clearly Fanny’s too sweet to be a hunter. Anyway, I decided I had to do something about the mice. So I bought some humane mouse traps, which I hear are really the best mouse traps because they allow the mice to return to the world and they don’t make me feel bad or sick when dealing with a bloody mess caught in a trap. So I bought a trap with a powerful rodent attractant called Valerian root, which is supposedly what the Pied Piper used to rid Hamelin of all the rats.

I came home the other day to find four sleeping mice in this habitat and was delighted that the trap was so efficient and safe. I didn’t realize that humane mouse traps can work so well. So Fanny or no Fanny, I am getting my home mouse free. Read More!

Mouse Trap Dilemma

When I found mice in our basement, I thought, “Oh boy, here we go.” My wife is afraid of mice, but she’s also very into animal rights. So I had a real Catch 22 on my hands – wife sees mice, wants them dead, wife sees dead mice, wants them alive. I had to get creative. In the search for humane mouse traps, I had to use all of my subtlety to prevent her from knowing that 1. We had mice and 2. I was trying to kill them.

I decided on an array of sticky mouse traps. They were successful, but unfortunately, one day my wife was doing the laundry and she heard a squeaking. She followed it behind the radiator and saw a mouse stuck to a board. She came to me sobbing. I needed another method.

There are a bunch of efficient traps out there, but I wanted the best mouse trap, and finally I found it. The multi-catch allows me to catch mice, and then release them into the wild, far away from our house. I told her about it to warn her, and although she won’t touch the trap, she wholly approves of it. So my dilemma is solved - until next time mice of the world! Read More!